So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
