I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
