we're chasing vodka with high fives
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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