So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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