Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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