glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
