so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Mom said you looked used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize