OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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