I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you made out with another girl for some wings
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
