I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
