Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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