We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
