So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Still dying that you shit outside
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
