did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i think my mom watched the whole time
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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