dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
