I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
