Someone shit on the floor
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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