That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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