Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
