He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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