Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
