Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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