would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
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he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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