my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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