Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My penis needs a shock collar
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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