im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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