So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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