I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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