he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
