If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
