whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
