after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
