Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
