remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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