yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
