Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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