So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Every concussion has its silver lining
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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