I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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