I think my vagina is haunted
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
