I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
