i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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