..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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