I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
