Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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