I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
