Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
