So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize