for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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