Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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