Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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