just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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