does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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