yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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