So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
