Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
