It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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