I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
