dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
organizing the empties. That sober.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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